Wednesday, September 7, 2011

What...what is that smell?

It can't be perfume. I only wear that at night so I don't smell like the Office Hoor.

Teen Spirit? Don't be an asshole.

I think...I think it's confidence. I think it's the beautiful scent of actually liking myself. It's so novel, I didn't recognize its fruity olfactory goodness in my nostrils.

Today, I had someone tell me I look, "very Corri Pasko" today. Any other day, I could twist that comment with Hulk-like strength into a twisted wreck of mean, horrible sentiment. Today, I skipped a bit and said, "Thanks." It could be the maroon tights. It could be the new Mary Janes and corduroy skirt. Could be that it's rapidly becoming fall, my favorite season. I have no idea, but I'm not gonna think about it too hard, lest my natural ability to demean myself come parading out to show me what for.

On top of this, I heard my boss make a comment that sounded like me. And I was pleased instead of horrified.

Yesterday, I had a callback and walked out thinking I did my very best. That I felt good about it, and the rest was up to them. It actually felt good to know it was out of my hands. Normally, I'd worry and go over the audition again and again, fixing the past in my brain. Apparently, I love futile activity.

Again, perhaps it's the weather. Maybe I accidentally spiked my coffee. Maybe I'm delusional. I don't care.

I like myself today, and considering my penchant for doing quite the opposite, I will take it. And I might even break my goddamned arm patting myself on the back, thankyouverymuch.